A Perspective: On Growing in Friendship

It is that time of the year that is meant for extolling the virtues of friends and friendships. One of my favorite pieces of my writing was on Friendship, which came out 52 weeks ago. And here is more to it, adding 3 Coherent Principles for Growing Friendships and Growing in Friendship.

Neeraj Alavelli
3 min readJul 31, 2021
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1. Amend the Zeus’ Fault

Do you have trouble with finding your own faults? Do you find yourself obsessed with the faults of other people? Well, it is something common to all of us. There is an interesting Greek legend that reasons for this flaw in human behavior — called Zeus’ fault.

Legend has it that the King of Gods, Zeus while creating humans, decided to give him two bags. One contained all of the man’s faults, and the other contained the faults of everyone else. So as to help the man with carrying the bags, Zeus also gave him a long pole, on the two ends of which he could hang the two bags and balance the pole on his shoulder. All good as of now right? Now happens the mistake of Zeus for which humans suffer till date — Zeus while handing the stick to the man, placed the end with the bag carrying mistakes of others in front of the man, and the bag with the man’s own mistakes was thus hanging behind him.

Now, you might be wondering how friendship can help us in overcoming Zeus’ fault? Here is how — a genuine friend is like a mirror that can reflect our flaws that are hanging behind (also our strengths that we may not perceive).

Thus friendships can help you apprehend your mistakes and also recognize your strengths. But it takes a deep friendship to constructively reflect on our mistakes without being judgemental.

Amending Zeus’ fault will further help you in building more friendships as you become more aware of your own faults and less obsessed with the faults of others.

2. Be Vulnerable

For a long time, I believed that hiding one’s struggles is a strength and being vulnerable is a weakness until I realized that actually, the opposite is true.

Vulnerability isn’t an easy thing; it needs you to open your heart, let down the barriers and show people who you really are. It needs courage.

Vulnerability is expressing ourselves in a manner that feels right to us even if it doesn’t sound right to the rest of society.

— Simon Sinek

We being humans, are prone to have faults. Thus, being vulnerable is essential for exponential growth. And it is important to be vulnerable with the right people, at the right time, and in the right manner.

Being vulnerable not only helps you grow yourself but also strengthens bonds. Sharing vulnerability is a key to close friendships. So, next time when you meet your friend with time to spend, don’t limit your conversation to small talk and gossip. Go further, be vulnerable.

Friendship is not just about being there for the other person; it is also about allowing the other person to be there for you.

3. Foster Two-Fold Growth

Thriving relationships have two things at their core — “Growing towards each other” and “Growing with each other”. This holds true for all relationships and so in the case of friendships as well.

Friendships that focus on both aspects of growth can add great value to our life. The first two principles help you with growing with each other. To find more insights on growing towards each other, read this.

That is all for today. If you found the article read-worthy, share it with your friends. Please feel free to respond with your thoughts, highlight your favorite points and show your appreciation through claps.

Thanks for staying on till the end. Do read my Perspective: On Friendships. I’m sure you will love it.

Happy International Friendship Day in advance (1 Aug ’21) and Belated wishes for the International Day of Friends (30 Jul ’21) 😂



Neeraj Alavelli

Senior Engineer @ TCS | IIT (BHU) CSE Batch of '21 Bibliophile | Writer | Thinker | Traveller | Altruist | Spiritualist | Devotee